I've been here before; I've written here before; I've lived a different life before.
Perhaps this all seems familiar to you as well. Perhaps you read my words, see my blog, and deja` vu hits you like a ton of bricks. Don't worry. It's completely natural. Just keep coming back and reading more.
I contemplated a new name as well. Perhaps now Hester Prynne, Dorothy Hare, or even Lilith better suits my purpose. But in the end, I know that Lenina Crowne is the best descriptive noun for me.
This entire past year has been a time of change. Nothing in my life is the same as it was before. I've lost someone so close to me that my heart aches everyday at the thought of never seeing him again. Then I've lost some people that I hope burn forever in the fiery lakes of hell. Or suffer the pain of a thousand deaths. Or simply understand the pain they caused me and why I had to do what I had to do. To survive. To be happy. To live.
So. Here goes again. Another chance. Another attempt. And that's all I see life as. An endless cycle of new chances and opportunities. But I swear upon all that is holy and sacred. Never again will I sacrifice my endeavors to please another human. I will live for myself.
And I will die for myself.