Friday, April 24, 2009

FE Exam

Fundamentals of Engineering. Tomorrow morning at seven I will be sitting in on the exam, the eight hour exam. When all I want is to be elsewhere.

I have been studying for this test all semester, with much hair pulling and eye straining. Passing or failing this test affects whether I qualify to become an engineering intern and getting licensed. So right now I'm a bit nervous and shaky. With sweaty palms.

All the while, my Demon came home tonight and I am stuck 150 miles away from him. Three weeks I've waited to see him, being separated by a country, and now he's home, and I still can't see him because of this test and my obligations.

This is what confuses me about life. I really don't understand the purpose of doing things i don't like or enjoy just because I have to. Or am obligated to. And I wonder if this is even worth it. I keep putting off a career in writing to finish this degree. Will I even use this degree? I'm too much of a chicken to just quit. Although that would make me really happy.

I keep waiting for life to start it seems. But I'm in it; I'm living it.

So why am I still waiting?

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