This blog used to be an outlet for me. A place to rant and rave and let out the anger that builds inside me at times. A place to find solace through writing and steer myself back on course.
I keep getting further and further away from peace, it seems. Soma. My gram of soma is a call back to Huxley's novel "A Brave New World." Soma was the pill they would ingest to negate feelings of guilt and anxiety. Instead of learning to deal with pain, they chose to ignore it.
I choose to ignore a lot of things I don't want to deal with. Things that happened in my past, things happening in my present. And the more I attempt to ignore, the more the anger and sadness and mistrust fills my mind.
I am trying to remind myself of the beginning of this blog. The blog I began in 2004 that is no more, lost to the oblivion of the internet. That same Lenina, Amanda, has to be there.