Over the Deep End

Patrick returns Wednesday.  But for all practical purposes, it might as well be Thursday.  I will dutifully be sitting at the airport at 11PM, awaiting his descension, probably in my pajamas.  How did he do this to me?

I ask myself that question a lot.  And by "this", I mean, how did he turn me into someone that NEEDS someone else.  I never needed anyone before.  It was NICE to have people, certain people, a short list, around.  But when they left, they left, and I was ok until they turned back up again.  Now, Patrick goes on a week and a half business trip, and I am sick as a dog missing him until he returns.  I had empty bed syndrome.

What made it worse was the big dog, George, the AmStaff, the big freakin' baby, is about as solid as Patrick.  Definitely snores like Patrick.  So in the middle of the night on Thursday, the dog had wormed his way under the covers and curled up against my back.  Hearing the snoring and feeling body heat, my heart jumped thinking he had came home early.  But upon turning, no, just a snoring dog.  Who loves being allowed to sleep in the bed full time while his master is gone.

I can feel all of you judging me...  I'm trying to ignore it.  Its ok, I judge me too.  Its hard to believe someone has changed me like this, and that I willingly allowed it.  

I protested to Patrick last night, "You made me needy, damn you!"

And his response was just to laugh and say, "That's how you know you finally found 'The One.'"

See?  Do you see what I have to deal with?  How could you not get all mushy and gushy after that?  Or after he tells you you are the woman of his dreams, or that he can't imagine anyone else he'd rather be with, yada yada yada.  And before, those things felt like lines to me, as they slipped meaninglessly from between the lips of liars.  But from him, they feel so damn genuine.

Enough of the love crap now.  He'll be back Wednesday, and I'll be back to my old self again.  If I post anything else mushy like this, I give you all permission to throw slanderous comments my way.

That is all, for now.